The Queen of England might dine with Rwandan sluts

On the front cover of the June 2-8 issue of Rwanda Newsline, “Rwanda’s only independent weekly English newspaper,” is a head shot of Queen Elizabeth smiling in one of her hats, with the title “Kigali sluts for CHOGM.”

Inside the front cover, under the same photo of the Queen, is written "ELIZABETH: The Queen of England might dine with Rwandan sluts."

As a fine example of Rwandan journalism, I’ve decided to type out the entire article, exactly as it was published, including all spelling and grammatical errors:


Kagame will of course not attend the meeting – Rwanda is not member of the common wealth countries, but Rwanda will be represented anyway.

Rwanda Newsline investigative desk has established that, if the Ugandan government fails to find a solution, the common Wealth heads of States might have to dine out with prostitutes. Our scouts have exclusively told Rwanda Newsline that Rwandan sluts are planning something big in a bid to show their presence in Kampala.

Sources revealed that the girls are very determined and busy applying for Rwandan passports for those who do not have already. Prostitutes all over East Africa have targeted CHOGM, and many Rwandan sluts have got a market in Uganda. CHOGM will take place in 2007, but Kigali sluts would like to go earlier for the reasons of getting used to the place. Sources disclose that, girls between 19 – 25 years are the ones involved in the deal.

Our sources in Uganda, say many Rwandan girls are registering for evening English lessons. It is alleged that school girls mainly from higher institutes of learning and universities may possibly also be maneuvering too.

Sources from Rwanda Immigration Office indicate that in few weeks statistics show young people, especially girls, have applied for visas, indicating the reasons why they want to travel as education, tourism and business.

Immigration senior officer who preferred anonymity confirmed to this reporter that, “it is true many young girls are applying for visa, asked whether visas will be granted, he said, yes every Rwandan has a right to have an international passport.”

CHOGM will bring almost one third of world leaders to the Ugandan capital Kampala, come November, 2007. CHOGM mainly take three to four days.

Many of the visitors coming to Uganda will have various interests ranging from city walks, visiting cultural sites, bird and butterfly watching, community walks and natural walks. According to one prominent pimp who is based in Kampala, , “the presidents and visitors who are coming here need to enjoy and therefore, we must prepare ourselves to get money out of them.”

Rwandan sluts always flock to Kampala and other towns mostly during weekends for greener pastures.